With Valentine’s day celebrations coming to a halt, curtailing screens on the most conspicuous romances of the year, comes as a huge relief for an intimidated population like me.
Was it all bad to be ‘single’?No, being single is cool, awesome and glorifies my personality will be my prompt answer. So how cool I am being Single? Am so cool that I take painstaking efforts to grab the weekend shows tickets and land myself in the theatre with my best buddy next to me,tring! tring! friend walks out, leaving me all alone to watch the sloppy movie with noone to buy me a popcorn during the interval. I hurl my abuses at his girlfriend with zero viscosity and high fluidity. Stop! She happens to be my sister, isn’t it? A relationship bequeathed upon me out of compulsion. I have twelve dozen friends and innumerable sisters from them. Popcorn apart ! Climax arrives, so does my friend, to borrow my bike key to pick the veritable devil, Sorry! My sister! How on earth will you reach back home whips my vacillating brain. Still I give him the key with a nod. Believe me, it was the first instance of me really wishing to take an ice bucket challenge.
And being single I was robbed off my popcorn, taken to street and forced to stage a Dandi march till my home.
Despite being made a Satyagrahi, I Usain Bolt to home, just in time to catch my favorite TV series. Stuffed cushions, crossed legs, steaming coffee, eyes glued to the television set, it was my time, my favorite drama series the only romance I wished to see hoping I will stage it in my life one day. Knock! Knock! Devil? Phew! It is the devil’s admirer, my friend, comes to return the key. The meeting which should have ended quick extends indefinitely, with me cursing my mother for treating my friends so well unlike other moms. Invariably, unavoidably and intemperately agonised by my state, that moment arrives again, when I want to bang my head against the wall for being single and a devoted friend all this years. But should I? Being single is cool and friendship is a ship that never sinks, isn’t it?
So naive I was in all these days of my immaculate driving expertise that I used to think speed breakers were laid to cut down speed. The push, the jolt, the gimmicks, Ayoo! these speed breakers had many other purposes too. I was already having an allusion of collusion with hypertension when my friend explained all these. Inspite of being a mild atheist and a fervent agnostic, I invoked God to reincarnate me as my bike which is not as unlucky as I am. I wonder why in all these years not even a single girl prompted me for a free ride. This made me sceptical about god. Why me alone? Do you hear me? Alas, Gods can hear only the glaring and blaring speakers I think.
Friendship is a serious supernatural disorder and there is no way of driving it away but only suffer in its punitive executions. The devil’s admirer bids an intermittent bye leaving behind a sore heart and a rapacious mind. Night arrives, I reach my mortuary, my bedroom. My phone moping alone at one corner and its owner wiping it. No beeps, no guffaws,no gossips, no kisses, no love you’s. I cuddle my pillow to sleep in awe of all those who are funding the telecom services skyscrapers. The sun shows up, routine starts, I go around demonstrating my coolness with my heart wailing and my eyes weeping at the overgrowing evergreen couples. I am still single, because ‘Being Single” is so cool.